


If a Karen Gives a Flower

by Kaysigns



Series: Four Human-Eating Monsters and An Apathetic Florist [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Drider!Remus, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Nymph!Emile, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, precious babies, remus and emile are both idiots and i love them so much, this chapter converted me to remus/emile yall, virgil works a retailish job so of course he deals with karens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:08:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24742054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaysigns/pseuds/Kaysigns
Summary: When Virgil got a dying flower from an angry Karen, he wasn't expecting to also get his boyfriend's brother a boyfriend
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Deceit | Janus/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton (Sanders Sides), DLAMP, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Dr. Emile Picani
Series: Four Human-Eating Monsters and An Apathetic Florist [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1746241
Comments: 11
Kudos: 398





	If a Karen Gives a Flower

**Author's Note:**

> The vote was really close between Emile and C!Thomas, but in the end Emile won 7-6. I still let Thomas have a cameo though because the boy needs at least some recognition  
> This whole chapter started because I got the image of Remus holding his plant boyfriend in a pot and couldn't get it out of my head

The day started with a Karen giving Virgil a dying flower and ended with him being nearly hugged to death by a giant drider. How typical.

Virgil heard the bell jingle as a new customer stepped into the shop, turning to see a woman with a bob cut in probably her late forties walk in, holding a wilting potted plant.

“Good morning, ma’am. How can I help you today?” She huffed, setting the plant on the counter.

“Can you bring this thing back to life?”

“Excuse me?” She pushed the plant closer to him, looking him directly in the eyes.

“I found this flower at the edge of this forest I drive by every day to work. It had such beautiful petals, they were bright pink with white spots on them. I thought it would look nice on my desk, but then it just started dying. Can you fix it?”

Virgil took a deep breath, biting back his desire to point out that plants aren’t like cars; he couldn’t just  _ fix it. _

“Well ma’am, it looks like this might be a Deptford Pink. They’re somewhat easy to maintain, so I’m not quite sure what you could have done wrong. The pot looks a bit too small for it, though. And have you been keeping it in the sunlight?”

“Why would I have to?” She scoffed. Virgil wanted to slap her.

“It’s a plant, ma’am. It needs sunlight, and Deptford Pink’s need full sunlight in order to properly grow.”

“My desk isn’t  _ in _ the sunlight, though! There has to be something you can do.”

“I mean...I guess if you want it to be on your desk you could maybe move it onto your desk whenever you’re working and then move it back into the sunlight when you’re done?” That seemed to properly offend her, and Virgil was happy about that.

“I’d like to speak to your manager, you have no right to talk to me like that.” Virgil nodded, walking into the back, biting back a grin. He opened and closed the door, waiting a few seconds. His coworker Thomas gave him a confused look as Virgil walked back out.

“Hello, I’m the manager, is there a problem here, ma’am?” Virgil asked with a sly grin. She scowled, walking out the door without another word.

Thomas came out from the back, putting a few flowers out on display. “What happened?”

“Karen.”

“Oh.” Virgil looked over the plant the lady had brought in. It was definitely dying, but it could probably still be saved. Virgil took it into the back, grabbing a larger pot for it and filling it with more nutrient-rich soil. He then reached for the flower and carefully took it out of its old pot, placing it gently into its new one.

It seemed to shudder. Virgil blinked, noticing how it swayed unnaturally back and forth for a moment, before seeming to relax and go still.

Virgil looked it over for a moment. Part of him told him that it was just his mind playing tricks on him. Part of him reminded him he was dating four supernatural creatures. How strange was it really for a flower to act a bit weird?

He placed the flower in the sunlight, and it seemed to shudder again. Virgil glanced at the door leading to the actual store. Thomas was still out there, out of earshot. He sighed. No harm in making sure.

“How are you feeling?” He asked the plant. It didn’t respond. “I’m talking to you, I know about beings like you.” It still didn’t respond. Virgil shrugged, giving up and walking back to the front. Guess it was just his mind messing with him.

He got home and carried the flower in, knowing Roman and Patton would probably like it. As usual, he took his shoes off, turned around, and there was Patton.

“Welcome home!” He cheered, coming in close and kissing him on the lips. “How was—” Then he noticed the flower. Virgil had expected Patton to get super excited—he always loved when Virgil brought home plants from his shop—but instead he looked almost freaked out and confused.

“Uh...what’s that you got there, Vee?”

“It’s a Deptford Pink, this Karen came in and started saying all this dumb shit, so—”

“That’s not a flower...” He spoke lightly, shaking his head.

“What do you mean?”

“I...I don’t know! It has a weird smell! It doesn’t really smell like a flower, but it also doesn’t smell like a human, or a vampire, or any species I’ve met!” By this point Logan, Janus, and Roman had come by to welcome Virgil home, but stayed silent to listen to Patton.

Roman tilted his head to the side. “It’s not just a flower?”

“Perhaps it’s another species we are unaware of, then. The only one that comes to mind pertaining to flowers are nymphs, specifically the Leimoniads.” Logan spoke, walking over and taking the pot from Virgil’s hands, studying it from every angle.

“That’s exactly what they are.” Janus said, grabbing the flower from Logan and holding it close to his chest. “I remember back when I lived in my forest there were dozens of nymphs and dryads. Particularly land and river nymphs, those were very common.”

Janus sighed as he looked down at the flower nymph. “Their life forces are connected to the kinds of areas they are born in. For flower nymphs such as this one, it’s valleys and forests. If they are taken out of those areas for too long, their plant will die, and with it, the nymph will die as well.” Patton whimpered.

“Can we just take them into the forest behind the house? Would that work?”

“Possibly. It’s not very common for a nymph to have to reconnect their life forces to another source.”

“Well, it’s worth a shot!” Roman declared, taking the plant gently in his arms and scurrying out the door. Virgil watched him leave for a moment, before remembering that he was the only one in the house who actually knew how to plant a flower. He cursed, gathering up whatever gardening tools he would need and running out the door after him. “Roman you fucking dumbass, wait up!”

* * *

Remus hummed to himself as he drew on the walls with animal blood. He was bored, and just couldn’t get to sleep. He was tempted to just break into Virgil’s house and mess with his brother and his soulmates for a bit, but resisted. Virgil would force him to clean up whatever mess he’d make, and for a human, the guy was surprisingly scary.

He groaned, lying back down on his stomach in his web. It was so boring in the cave without anyone else there.

His ears perked up when he heard in the distance two voices.

“You humans are so slow!”

“It’s not my fault I only have two legs!”

“But why are you so  _ slow _ ?”

“Hey, Jan is slower, so—”

“Don’t go comparing yourself to someone with no legs!”

Oh, Roman and Virgil. What were they up to so late at night? Remus shrugged, scuttling out of the cave, deciding to see for himself.

* * *

“You have four times as many legs as me, and eight times the amount Janus has, you’re an outlier that shouldn’t be counted in the whole  _ “who’s slow test.” _

“How dare you!”

“I dare.”

“Maybe our new friend here can be our deciding vote, huh?” He leaned closer into the flower, raising an eyebrow. “Should I, the handsome and incredible Roman, truly not be counted in a test such as this one?” The flower shuddered. Roman squinted. “Is that a yes or a no?”

“I think they’re saying  _ “Get out of my personal space” _ Prince Charming.” Roman huffed, moving away from the nymph again, holding them a bit further from his body.

“How come they haven’t turned into some like...pink humanoid person by now? I mean...that’s how nymphs are usually depicted in Greek myths.” Virgil shone his phone’s flashlight around at the trees, wondering if any of them were dryads in disguise.

“I think I remember back when I was very young.” Roman said. “I used to have this dryad as a friend. She said that since her life force was connected to the forest her pine tree lived in, if she were to somehow be disconnected from her forest for too long, her body would go into her tree and she would be unable to take any form outside of her tree until she regained her energy. This nymph is probably just too tired to take form.”

Virgil hummed, walking out into a meadow near the twin driders’ cave. “This place’ll probably work, right?”

“Maybe. Does this place look good to you, my flowery friend?” The flower swayed back and forth. “I’m assuming that’s a yes?” The flower swayed again. “Excellent!”

Virgil dug a hole deep enough for the flower to be moved into, pulling it out of the pot gently and placing it into the hole. The flower shuddered, before swaying back and forth again, seeming to be pleased. Roman smiled.

“Would you like us to leave you alone to rest?” The flower swayed and shuddered. They decided to take that as a yes.

“I guess that means we’ll be leaving, then.” Virgil yawned. “About time. I just wanna eat dinner and go to bed.”

“You and me both.” Roman waved at the flower as he stood up. “We’ll check up on you in the morning, alright? Sleep well!” The two headed back home, continuing their debate about who can be considered slow or fast as they went.

* * *

Remus slowly crawled out into the meadow as the two left. He had been too far away to understand what was going on, but apparently they had come out just to plant a flower. He laid down next to the plant, studying it closely.

“What’s so special about you?” The flower swayed without any wind to move it. “Huh. Weird. You some kind of nature spirit?” It continued to sway back and forth.

Remus reached out to touch it, before remembering a certain run-in he had with a dryad before. He had been picking pine needles out of his hair for weeks after touching her. “Can I touch you?” The flower shuddered. “Is that a no?” It began swaying again. “Okay.” He let his arm drop.

“So where’d my brother and his human find you?” No response, which made sense considering flowers can’t speak. “I think Virgey works at some kinda flower shop, right? I don’t get humans with that whole “flower shop” thing. If you want flowers, just fuck around outside, y’know?”

Remus couldn’t completely understand the flower’s swaying and shuddering, but the nymph seemed interested in what he had to say, and that was enough for him. He continued to talk and rant to the flower, appreciating any bit of movement he received.

With a yawn he finished up his story about the first time he killed a human with his bare hands, finally beginning to run out of things to talk about as the sun began to rise. His throat was a bit sore from talking all night, but he was satisfied. His eyelids slowly began to droop.

“Thanks for keeping me company!” Remus squeaked, his eyes flying back open and looking up. Sitting on the opposite side of the flower from him was a three-foot tall man with long, messy pink hair, pale pink skin, and white freckles, smiling at him.

“Woah.” Remus breathed. “You’re hot as fuck.” The nymph chuckled, looking down at the pure black palm of his hand.

“You don’t look so bad yourself!” He hesitated, looking at the handprint on Remus’s chest. “Is it alright if I touch you?” Remus’s face split into a grin, and he nodded eagerly. The nymph took his hand and gently laid it over Remus’s soulmark. The black from both creatures faded away.

Remus cackled happily, pulling the nymph in close and holding him tight. “I’m Remus! I don’t think I introduced myself last night, but I’m Remus! We’re soulmates, holy fuck! Roman can fuck off with his four soulmates, you’re better than all of them combined! I love you, you cute little shit!”

The nymph laughed along, allowing himself to be twirled around and carried as Remus basically danced around the meadow. “I’m Emile! I thought you were my soulmate! While you were talking I saw the hand on your chest and it looked about the size of my hands so all I had to do is put two and two together and bingo bongo!” Emile hugged Remus tighter.

Virgil and his soulmates came out about half an hour later. By that point Emile had already told Remus everything that had happened. The moment Remus saw Virgil, he got up and scrambled over to him.

“Virgil!” He tackled the human, pulling him into a hug that could have very easily broken Virgil’s bones. “You saved my boyfriend’s life! I love you!”

“What?” Virgil choked out. “Lemme go!” Remus let go with a cheer. “I have a boyfriend and he’s hotter than all of you!” Emile waved.

“I’m Emile, I’m his soulmate! Can you believe that?”

“I’m assuming you’re the nymph Virgil and Roman brought out last night?” Logan asked.

“Yup! It’s good to meet you all! I don’t know how to repay you for what you did, but thank you.”

“It’s no problem. Just keep this idiot occupied.” Virgil jabbed a thumb at Remus, trying to regain his breath.

Roman came over to Emile, looking him over for a moment, before smiling and pulling him into a hug. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen my brother this happy so...thank you.” He whispered.

Later on they moved Emile’s flower to just outside of Remus’s cave, that way they would be able to properly live together. Whenever the two were invited over to Virgil’s house, Emile would pot up his plant and bring it with them, since he was tethered to the flower. They made it work, and Remus was excited the entire time.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't realize when I started writing this that Emile/Remus would be such an adorable pair but omgs I think it might be one of my favorite ships now they're so cute and pure
> 
> On another note, since as far as I'm aware nymphs and dryads are all depicted as female, Emile's a trans guy. We stan


End file.
